(audacious music) (heels clop) (transition clacks) (transition whooshes) (notes rustle) (transition whooshes) (notes rustle) (lips smack) - [Zaraah] Coming up on today's show, two very contrasting homes, from a sublime stately manor.

- Oh, look, "His Lordship."

Blimey, I hope Mike behaves himself.

(chuckles) - [Zaraah] To cavern of kitsch.

♪ Da da dahm ♪ ♪ Ya da dah ♪ - In one word, Bohemian.

(David chuckles) - [Zaraah] And the dealers come face to face with two very different sets of homeowners with one thing in common.

- Can we just say how much we're enjoying this?

(chuckles) - 300.

- Is that your final offer?

- [Zaraah] They give as good as they get.

(David sighs) But who will come out on top in this ultimate battle of wits?

- In the Mike Melody rule book, there is no fair play.

- [Zaraah] In our first house, homeowners Paul and Victoria will be hoping to raise as much money as they can to help with the upkeep of this magnificent Grade II listed building.

- We bought this house 17 years ago on a whim.

We stumbled on it.

We've restored 52 rooms and 12 acres of gardens, and today, we do tours to keep it on our own behalf and on behalf of Wales, actually.

- [Zaraah] There are a lot of stunning pieces of reproduction furniture in this house, but amongst the collection are some genuine and highly desirable antiques.

- We've got phonographs, radios, a lot of packaging, and a lot of enamel signs in the house.

There's something for everybody in this house, really, and to top it all is my wife's clothes collection.

- [Zaraah] I'm not sure if Victoria agrees there, Paul, and if you want to beat the dealers, you're gonna have to work together.

- I'm the good cop, and she's the bad cop.

(chuckles) - Oh no.

- [Zaraah] Sounds like they'll be taking no prisoners.

And today, the dealers are Simon, Karen, and Mike.

- I'm gonna look.

I'm gonna decide, and if I want it, I'm gonna buy.

- I'm looking for things that're easy to sell, things that look nice and will make me a bomb.

- I'm frightened to death that I'm gonna miss something; worse still, they're gonna find it and I'm gonna miss out.

- [Zaraah] You'll have to have your wits about you in this house, Karen.

You've only got one hour to sort out the real from the repro.

- Well, this is a bit baronial, isn't it?

- [Karen] Ha ha ha.

- This is my ancestral home.

- How's your bank balance?

- Wow.

(Karen laughs) - [Zaraah] Let's hope it's pretty healthy, Karen.

- Oh my goodness me.

- [Zaraah] You could spend a fortune in here.

- [Simon] I'm gonna go down to the furthest point.

- [Zaraah] Might need a taxi for that, Simon.

This place is huge.

- Even for me, this is a bit grand, innit?

- What am I gonna do?

I've gotta start running.

Got me running shoes on.

(laughs) - [Zaraah] I don't think I've ever seen the dealers this revved up.

- Come on, we'll go down here now.

- [Karen] We've only got an hour.

- Well, that's nice.

First thing I've found is a nice thing actually, a Victorian mahogany compendium of games, and obviously, we've got the chess set here, the backgammon counters.

We've got dominoes in there as well, this really nice little compendium.

Think there's gonna be a bit of competition on this, but I would like to pay that for it.

It's quite a strong bid, I feel.

- [Zaraah] Really, Simon?

Well, we'll see.

♪ Oh, doo doo ♪ - [Zaraah] Now, Mr. Melody has kindly agreed to give us all a tour of this fabulous house.

- This is a magnificent-looking drawing room.

Drawing room is where people sat, sitting room in our house.

The library, eh?

Wouldn't get one of these in our house.

None of us can read.

Is it a cat?

Is it a cheetah?

Or has somebody run over it three or four times (laughs)?

This is the stand (cues clank) where they used to keep (wheezes) snooker sticks.

(Mike laughs) - [Zaraah] Remind me never to book my holiday with Melody Tours.

(Mike laughs) - Now, come on, let's go.

- [Zaraah] In the drawing room, Karen has discovered this German eight-day mantel clock.

- Brass-faced.

You got the two little dials up the top there.

A three-holer, so it chimes on a Westminster chime.

Not the best cabinet in the world, but I think it's quite a handsome clock, and I'll leave a little bid on that one.

- [Zaraah] The German mantel clock gets its first bid.

- [Mike] Hello there.

- D'you know, 52 rooms in this house, and I have to find you in one of 'em.

- Well, it's all right.

(Karen laughs) You go, and I'll... - [Karen] With pleasure.

- I'm taking a minute a room.

- "A minute (laughs) a room."

- [Mike] Yeah (chuckles).

- [Karen] He's gone already.

(laughs) - I've just been informed there's 52 rooms, which gives me, on average, a minute a room.

- [Zaraah] That's right, Mike, so you dealers, there's no time for messing around.

- You know, I'd buy these, but they're two deer.

- [Zaraah] That includes you, Master Schneider.

- Oh, look, "His Lordship."

Blimey, I hope Mike behaves himself.

(chuckles) - [Zaraah] No chance, Simon.

- [Mike] This must be room number 32.

- [Zaraah] Although his grand tour has unearthed this biscuit-shop display case.

- You've got Crawford's biscuits in this case, designed and painted by the proprietors of Crawford Biscuits.

This is for serving out loose biscuits.

Dates roughly round about 1910.

Right, what's that worth?

Right, two... That's what it's worth.

One price (cash register pings) down there.

- [Zaraah] The three dealers are in full swing.

- [Karen] That there.

- [Zaraah] And they're turning up all kinds of weird and wonderful items.

- That's either a swimming pool or a snooker table.

- Tiny, little pair of shoes, I'll leave a little bid on them.

You know, I wonder if we're bidding on the things that the homeowner thinks we'll be bidding on, because seem to be picking out all the sort of kitsch unusual bits.

- [Karen] Little petrol dispenser.

- [Mike] It's a ruler.

- [Simon] Top hats for everyone.

As a dealer, what you are definitely looking for is the novelty and unusual rather than the norm that is a bit boring.

- [Zaraah] Well, if you're after something unusual, what about this Victorian wool winder?

- It was to test the tensile strength of the wool, and when you get them really working and spinning, once they get to the desired testing strength, the bell rings: "Ding."

So it's also a parlor game.

- [Zaraah] Oh, those winter nights must fly by in the Melody household.

Time is running out.

- Right, run, run, run.

(laughs) - [Zaraah] And the dealers have still got several rooms to see.

- Right, come on, let's go.

- Quite a nice item, that.

Must admit I'm getting a bit tired.

- [Zaraah] Come on, Simon, chin up.

You don't want to lose out to the other two.

Karen's discovered that biscuit display cabinet, too.

- This was in the age of elegance.

You'd have gone into a lovely little biscuit shop or grocer's or something, and there was...

Presumably, the way this is designed, you could buy them individually.

That is a very, very nice thing.

Ooh, and what a surprise.

Look.

The boys have already been here.

- [Zaraah] I think there's gonna be some battles for a lot of items today, Karen, including the games compendium.

- Long before computer games, this is what people did in the olden days.

You played games like dominoes.

Oh, what a game that is.

That's exciting.

Fantastic thing.

I love it.

- A quick look in here now, and we really are running outta time.

- [Zaraah] It's now a mad dash to the finish.

- [Mike] Let's just go back here.

- [Zaraah] Mike and Simon bid on the Edwardian clock.

- Yeah, it's a bad-looking thing, and it's worth a wee bid.

- [Zaraah] And Karen adds her bid to the games compendium.

- [Karen] There we go, boys.

Little bit of competition.

- [Zaraah] The hour is up.

- (exhales) 52 rooms, and I'm absolutely exhausted, but I've put plenty of bids down.

(sucks) Fingers crossed, I sell some bits.

- [Zaraah] The secret dealers have been racing around a country house of 52 rooms stuffed with antiques.

- We are so lucky, the secret dealers.

We are in the most magnificent hall in Wales.

- [Zaraah] And they've left a trail of bid cards in their wake.

- One thing's for sure in this game.

If you don't spend any money, you don't earn any money, so I hope I'm gonna have to dig deep into my pockets today.

- [Zaraah] I don't think ya need to worry about that, Simon.

I'd be more worried about the competition.

- No matter what I pay for it, I will be on a profit because it's a rare article.

- [Zaraah] Hang on.

You've got to face homeowners Paul and Victoria yet, and they expect big things of you, Mike.

- I suspect this chap Michael's the friend of several Russian oligarchs, and we look forward to his bids on that basis.

- [Zaraah] Still confident, Mike?

- [Mike] Hmm.

- [Zaraah] And it's not just the price tag you need to worry about.

There's that word all the dealers dread: sentimentality.

- Well, not everything's up for sale, because some things are very personal to us, but by the same token, we're open-minded because it would be useful to raise funds to sustain the house.

- [Zaraah] Well, let's find out just how much money is up for grabs today.

- This card represents our total of our highest bids.

- Thank you.

Do you want to open it?

- No, you carry on.

(laughs) Wow.

- 8,610 pounds.

- [Karen] Ooh.

- Wow.

- Can I have the 10 pounds?

(chuckles) - [Zaraah] Don't spend it yet, Paul.

First, ya have to sell some of your beloved collection.

So let's kick things off with the German Edwardian clock.

- There are lots of dealers for clocks, lots of collectors of clocks.

Yep, good market for 'em.

- It's all right.

It's passable.

It's not great.

- [Zaraah] Oh really?

Do we believe Mike?

- We inherited that from my parents.

I think they went to a country house sale once, the only time in their lives they ever went to one, and came back with a hell of a lot of furniture.

- Does it work?

- Didn't know it was German.

- Yes.

- [Mike] Oh, it works.

- It does work, yes.

- Anyway, I'm gonna show you what I've bid for it: (apprehensive music) 125 pound.

- [Paul] Hmm.

- Don't know with that reaction.

My bid is 260 pounds.

(counter clicks) - And you've topped me by the princely sum of 100 pound near enough.

165 pounds.

- Ah.

- [Zaraah] Karen's opening offer is not far off the top valuation, but are the other two dealers going to give her some competition?

- Well, I'm playing catch-up now, but I'm not, because I think that's a really strong bid for that clock.

So I'm out, and I'll leave it to you two to decide.

- I don't suppose any possibility of Michael girding his loins to make a bigger bid, is there?

- That's a horrible thought.

- Go on.

- Loins girded, Sir.

Got some aftershave to pay for.

- Gird away, Mike.

- 270 pounds.

(counter clicks) - 280.

(counter clicks) - Five.

(counter clicks) - Aw, is it over 300 quid's worth?

'Cause that's my problem now.

- [Mike] Hmm, could be.

Might not be, though.

- 290 pounds.

(counter clicks) - Five.

- 300 (counter clicks) - I suppose, just for a bit of devilment, I'll give it a bit of a kicking.

- Oh, for goodness' sake, let it go.

You don't have to win every one.

- Yes, he's quite a character, isn't he?

You know, and wherever he starts has no relevance to where he ends, to be quite frank.

- It's just like the clock, isn't it?

Chiming away.

(Karen laughs) Reliable, isn't it?

(Paul laughs) 305.

- 310.

(counter clicks) - 15.

- Can we just say how much we're enjoying this?

(Paul chuckles) (Karen laughs) - The difference between Mike and I is that Mike has actually got stronger customers than me.

But I don't like to lose, but on this occasion, I'm going to bow out.

I think that's enough money for me.

- Ah.

I think we'll accept your latest bid.

(chuckles) - Thank you very much.

Thank you, Paul.

- [Paul] Thank you very much indeed.

- Thank you, me dear.

- Thank you.

- Well done - [Zaraah] Well, that flew over the top valuation.

I didn't think you wanted it, Mike.

- A salutary lesson in not jumping out at the right time.

I've copped it.

- 315 is plenty of money for that clock.

He won't get a lot of profit out of it.

- I think the people that've won best here is Paul and Victoria.

- I think we'd be satisfied by that.

- Yes.

- [Zaraah] What a great start.

Let's hope they're as pleased with the next bid, on the biscuit box from a bygone era.

- I love it 'cause it's original.

It's advertising.

It's a little bit of social history.

I really want it.

- This is the type of thing that is quite desirable.

- I can't see Karen and Simon reckoning that within 200 pound of me.

- [Zaraah] Very bullish, Mike, but will Paul and Victoria be willing to part with it?

- We got it from an antique shop here in Mid Wales, and it's one of our most treasured items.

- Is it?

Funny enough, I can still remember buying biscuits outta one of those.

- [Victoria] And I can.

- [Mike] Oh, you can as well?

- No, I'm too young, darling.

(chuckles) - [Mike] Oh, fair enough.

- I'm definitely too young.

(laughs) - In my case, 'cause we weren't the richest people on the street, I had to have the broken ones.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

- Cor, are you lucky to have biscuits.

- [Mike] Aw.

(laughs) - [Simon] Aw, wish I could've afforded biscuits when I was growing up.

- Oh dear.

- Let's get this over and done with: 130 pound.

- [Paul] Hmm.

- [Mike] Well, I've left 275.

- Hmm.

- Mm.

- And this is the most eye-catching bid, I have to tell you: 450 pounds.

- Wow.

- Phwoar.

- Wow.

- [Zaraah] Karen's opening bid has left everybody flabbergasted, but what does the secret valuer think?

Karen's bid is a strong one.

- Can the other dealers compete?

- Well, I am going to turn round straight away and say I can't go from there to there so I'm out.

- Right.

- I don't have any qualms: 460.

(counter clicks) (Paul laughs) - What's that about?

Bidding me up on 450, is it tactics again?

I'm very miffed, to say the least.

- In the Mike Melody rule book, there is no fair play.

- 470.

(counter clicks) - 80.

(counter clicks) - He's a cheeky boy, isn't he?

- He is, rather, isn't he?

- 490.

(counter clicks) - 500.

(counter clicks) - No, you, you've been too cheeky.

You can pay all the money for it.

- Thank you.

- I'm out.

- We will, won't we?

- I think we'll accept it, shall we, darling?

- Dealt.

Thank you very much, Paul.

- [Paul] Thank you very much, Michael.

- I'll tell you what, if it'd been 700 pound, I woulda been happy.

- Hope you make a loss, Melody.

- [Zaraah] Not much chance of that, eh, Paul?

- I think Mike can sell anything to anybody.

(laughs) - [Zaraah] But Mike didn't have it all his own way for long.

- 220 pound is the top offer, Paul.

Victoria, would you accept my bid for the chair?

- Yeah?

- I think so.

- [Zaraah] Simon forked out 220 pounds for this oak Gothic Revival armchair, and remember that industrial wool winder?

- 350 pounds.

- We'll accept that.

- [Zaraah] Karen paid a whopping 350 notes for it.

Hope you know what you're doing, Karen.

- Well, let's be absolutely honest.

I haven't dealt in one before, but 350, to me, doesn't seem a lot for what I'm getting.

- [Zaraah] It's time for our final item, the 19th-century games compendium, another unusual piece and very sought after, not least by our dealers.

- I could take that to a fair tomorrow and sell it straightaway, no excuses for it at all.

I'd really like to buy this one.

- It's complete.

You don't often get 'em complete.

It's a good thing.

- So there might be a bit of a bloodbath for that, and so there should be.

It's a good item.

- [Zaraah] But can Paul and Victoria bear to part with it?

- I would be sad to see the compendium go, yes, 'cause it's quite unique.

We've never seen another one, have we?

- No, no.

- [Zaraah] Make sure you push those dealers for all they've got, then.

- Oh, we've always been rather fond of it, haven't we?

- Actually, I'm probably more attached to it than you are, darling.

But then, I love games compendiums.

- Yeah, it's a boy's toy, isn't it?

- It is boy's toy.

- I mean, to date it, I'd date it roughly about 1880, which is relatively late for that model.

- But it's still a nice piece.

That's why we're all stood here.

- Come on, then, shall we go, then?

- Okay, yeah.

- Shall I go first?

- Why not?

- [Simon] 420.

- [Mike] 395.

- Look how close we are.

380.

- All very close.

- All very close, that's amazing.

- I think we all know what... We all like this, and I think we're all in quite strong.

But let's see where it ends up.

- Would you like to open it?

- [Zaraah] They're all short of the top valuation, but Victoria and Paul aren't going to let this precious piece go without a fight.

- 430.

(counter clicks) - I mean, I'll go 440.

(counter clicks) (Simon sighs) - (tuts) 460 pound.

(counter clicks) - I think it's pretty obvious that that's the bit we all want in the house.

- I like it 'cause I think I can make a quick profit on it.

- I really want to own this.

I think it's a nice thing, so I think I'll just keep on till the merry end.

- [Zaraah] The secret dealers are using all their best strategies to go home with this rare 19th-century games compendium.

Simon's leading the bids with 460 pounds, still short of the top valuation, so they all have everything to play for, but who will make the winning move?

- (Karen sighs) So little left 'cause it's gotta go over 500 to sell now, easily.

- It's worth 500 quid, and that's what I reckoned it.

- That is what I see it.

- If I'm being honest, that is (indistinct).

But Mike might have a completely different opinion.

- I'm gonna bow out because there's about 50 quid left.

- Well, I'll just take it away with the extra fiver on it, then.

At 475?

- 460 I bid.

- 465, sorry.

(counter clicks) - 470.

(counter clicks) - Back to where I was, 475.

(counter clicks) - 480.

(counter clicks) - Five.

(counter clicks) - Gar, Mike.

(Paul laughs) 510.

(counter clicks) - [Zaraah] Is Simon's jump to 510 pounds the knockout blow?

- I think I'll step out.

- (tuts) Right, well you're left with me at 510 pounds.

I'd really like to buy this from you both, but the decision's yours.

- You can't use Michael's device of another five or 10 pounds?

- Would five pound make a difference?

'Cause I'm never gonna argue for a fiver.

515 pounds, (counter clicks) please.

(Paul tuts) - Yes, we will, won't we?

- Yeah?

- Yes, we will.

- Ah, that's lovely.

Thank you very much indeed.

Thank you very much, Paul.

- Thank you very much.

- [Zaraah] You were squeezed for every penny there, Simon.

Not worried.

- I will definitely get a profit on it.

Job done.

- [Zaraah] And to top it off, you got one over on our Michael.

- Que sera, sera: whatever will be will be, you know.

- [Zaraah] Very philosophical, Mike.

There's been some strong bidding from our dealers, but will that mean a big payout for our homeowners?

- We have managed to spend with you today the grand sum of 4,680 pounds.

- Oh, wow.

- Wow, how about that, darling?

- I've never seen so much money.

(Karen laughs) - Shall I take it back?

- Aw, thank you.

- Oh, I get a kiss.

Thank you very much for having us.

(notes rustle) - [Zaraah] The dealers spent big in our first house, and Simon has decided to cash in his chips, so it's the turn of David to stake his claim.

- You may think I'm charming and a bit smooth perhaps, but underneath it, believe me, I'm just as hard as the others.

- [Zaraah] David will be giving Karen and Mike a run for their money in this delightful house, which has everything, from mirrors to mannequins.

This mishmash of objects belongs the Evie, and her collection has a lot of personal memories.

- Everything in this house is my life.

Everything's been part of my life for years or just for a few months.

A lot of it can go because I've got newer memories and I've got newer horizons to look forward to.

- [Zaraah] And the horizon is a very sunny one.

- Any money I make today will go towards my dream holiday in Papua New Guinea snorkeling and possibly a detour to Korea for some plastic surgery on the way.

(chuckles) - [Zaraah] Fun-loving Evie might just be pulling our leg, at least on the surgery, but when it comes to the deals, she'll be as cunning as a fox.

- When I do a deal, I like to pretend I don't know an awful lot, to see if someone's gonna take advantage of me, and I try and understand where they're coming from first.

And then, if they pass the test, we can speak.

(chuckles) - [Zaraah] You've got your hands full with this one, dealers.

- Well, here we are, Michael.

This is your kind of house.

- Big barn, innit?

- [David] It's fantastic, isn't it?

- Rummage, rummage.

- Karen, where are you gonna go?

- I'm shooting this way.

- [Zaraah] That's right, Karen.

Don't hang around.

You only have one hour to search the entire house.

- And I've found a room full of things, I hope.

- Think this is a proper rummage house.

There's gear piled everywhere.

- [Zaraah] But will it be stuff you want to bid on?

- Think there's anything for me there.

- [Zaraah] David may be slow to get off the mark, but Mike's flying.

- I'm having a whale of a time here.

Me plan is to hit as many things with what I call a job-lot price; in other words, just plastered the place with prices.

That way, I might just win a few.

I'm leaving a price on it.

Think Glastonbury 2015, aye?

The Mike Melody clothing line.

- [Zaraah] I can see it now, Michael.

It'll be flying off the shelves.

Now, David's looking rather trendy today.

I wonder how he's getting on.

(David sighs) - I think, at this stage, the challenge is to find something I really want to buy.

What's this?

You just hope you're gonna find something magical.

So far, I haven't been lucky in that respect, but well, let's see what happens.

I think I've managed to escape from this room without spending any money.

- [Zaraah] Well, if it's any consolation, you're not alone.

- Nay, nay, nay, nay, nay.

- [Zaraah] Well, I suppose the house does have some very unusual things, eh, Karen?

- Very, very eclectic, in its truest form.

- How you doing?

You found lots of things to make offers on?

(plate clacks) - Not as yet, but.

- No, neither have I.

- [Karen] I think the room that Mike's in's where all the little goodies are.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Where the goodies are?

- So dash round everywhere else.

And then, head his way.

That's my tactic.

- Good tactic, I would say.

- [Zaraah] Sounds like a plan; meanwhile, Mike's found something else to bid on.

- We have a vesta case: double mark, silver, fabulous little thing.

- [Zaraah] Mike is streets ahead of the other two.

- Now, that looks interesting.

- [Zaraah] But at last, David's found something, this painted model of land girls stringing onions.

- It's signed, "Aurelius Newman."

Just wonder with a name like that: Neumann rather than Newman?

Could it be a German prison-of-war endeavor in those quiet times they have?

It seems to be made out of sort of starched hide, papier-mache, and wood.

It's quite a curious thing.

Look at the beautiful way those shoes are made.

I think I'll make an offer for that.

So, first one today.

- [Zaraah] Better late than never, David.

- So I'll put that on there.

Right, anything else?

- [Zaraah] And suddenly, it's like waiting for a bus, 'cause Karen's found something, too, this very unusual brass submarine paperweight.

- This is quite interesting, actually.

Not worth a fortune, but I think there's a lot of men out there that would love that.

It's actually a paperweight, and it's what they call, loosely termed, trench art that's made from something used, from shells, in the war, something like that.

But I think that's quite a fun bit.

Leave a little bid on him.

There we go.

What else?

- [Zaraah] With all the dealers now up and running, the mood seems to be a bit more relaxed.

- [David] D'you think it clashes a bit with the shirt?

- [Zaraah] Maybe a little too relaxed.

♪ Any old iron, any old iron ♪ ♪ Any, any, any old iron ♪ ♪ Da da dahm ♪ ♪ Ya da dah ♪ (David laughs) Yeah, Michael, you could make a living with these.

(laughs) Right.

- [Zaraah] What's he like, eh, Mike?

Come on, get back to work, you lot.

- [Karen] Ooh, David, are you having a little rummage?

- [David] I'm rummaging, yes.

Isn't that what we do?

Rummage?

- [Karen] Rummage, rummage, rubbish.

Is there anything with bid in there?

- [David] Yeah, there's that.

- [Zaraah] Oh, that's the vesta case that Mike bid on earlier.

- Look.

It opens like that.

And it has this engraved gilded interior.

- [Karen] Bit of fun, isn't it?

- [David] It's got a patent number on it.

It is silver.

- [Karen] That's fun.

- [David] I quite like that.

- Have you left a bid on that, then, David?

- I have.

I've left it there.

- [Karen] Can you put that bid in there for me, David?

- [David] I can.

- [Karen] Join yours?

- [David] This is Karen's bid, and I've slipped it on top of mine.

- [Zaraah] Ah, great, that's all three dealers bidding on the vesta case.

Should be a good battle for that one.

- Never seen one where you open up the two sections and there's a lovely little fan.

I really like that.

- [Zaraah] Now, Mike knows his onions.

What does he think about that land girl statue?

- D'you know, I think these things are made of some form of leather.

It might've been made by a prisoner of war for resale.

They had workshops for making things.

(upbeat funk music) It's got a look, that has.

Quite like that.

That's all right, that.

- [Zaraah] I wonder if any of the dealers will be taking these two girls home, 'cause homeowner Evie is very fond of this piece.

- I adore that.

The detail is amazing, and it's done so beautifully, so it was obviously done by somebody that was artistic.

- [Zaraah] We'll find out shortly if Evie can bear to part with it.

Time is running out, and every corner of the house is being searched by our dealers.

- [David] In the loo.

- [Zaraah] Even the outhouse.

- There's got to be something in here.

- [Zaraah] Yeah, big spiders.

- "Just like that."

(laughs) Oh, come on, let's leave a bid on the fez.

Why not?

- [Zaraah] After a slow start, the dealers are bidding left, right, and center, but are any of the dealers gonna bid on this wonderful Victorian scrap screen?

- We call it a scrap screen is because...

It is quite often leather underneath, but I think this is some sort of board or card or something.

And it is completely swamped with Victorian scraps.

- People used to actually buy books of these things that they could push out.

You know, they were half cut round, and they could push them out to stick on these scrapbook screens.

It's not in bad condition.

- [Karen] For one of these, it isn't bad, and I think I'll be brave enough to have a go.

There we go.

Off for a brew?

- Cup of tea?

- Yeah.

- Sounds good.

- [Karen] Okay.

- [David] 'Cause we've had a good day.

- [Zaraah] You going to have a punt on the screen, then, David?

- [David] Shall I?

- [Zaraah] Go on.

You don't want to be left out, do ya?

- All right, screen.

- [Zaraah] Good man.

- [David] Done.

- [Zaraah] The secret dealers have had a blast in this house, which has its very own unique style.

- In one word, bohemian.

- It's a curious eclectic mix of just about everything under the sun.

- This is a real oddball house.

- [Zaraah] And they've bid on everything, from the quirky to the quality.

Homeowner Evie is looking forward to meeting the secret dealers.

- Well, it'll be very interesting.

I can hold my own, and it'll be quite fun and interesting to see what prices they put on the table.

- [Zaraah] Well, let's find out just how much money is on offer.

- In this envelope is the total amount of bids that we've made in your lovely home today.

There you go.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh my goodness, 1,770.

- So Evie, what we wanna try and do now is try and do some deals, yes?

- Brilliant.

- Great.

- [Zaraah] If Evie accepts all the top bids, she could be bagging over 1,700 quid.

First up, it's that decorative screen, and it's David and Karen fighting it out for this one.

- It's a lovely scrap screen, three-fold.

I've got no excuse for not bidding on it.

- I don't really like them that much, 'cause I find them very hard to sell.

I've made a bid purely be a bit competitive.

- [Zaraah] We know you don't like to lose out, David.

- Where's that come from?

Is that something's come down the family?

- No, it's not, actually.

I actually got that at a car boot sale.

- [Karen] Did you?

- [Evie] Yeah.

- [Karen] Gosh.

- [Evie] In Calbourne, but I've now had it for four years, and I don't want it.

- Shall I go?

- I'm apologizing for my bid before I do it, because there was a...

If this were sorta 10 years ago, it would've been over 200 pounds for that screen.

- But it's not.

It's now.

- And I apologize for my bid today, but it is 65 pounds.

(David sighs) Am I just ahead?

- 60 pounds.

(Karen laughs) (David sighs) - That was close.

- I think I'm just gonna have a look at the valuation card.

- [Zaraah] The secret valuer certainly thinks it's worth a bob or two more, so can Evie talk them into upping their offer?

- I think it's worth more, and the reason for that.

- Yeah, I don't blame you.

- Is because there were three that went last year that were in rotten condition but they went for an awful lot more.

- D'you mind my asking how much you paid?

- How much I paid for it?

50 pounds.

- Hmm, she smiles, though.

How much?

- Oh, you're on a profit.

- I'll always tell you.

I know I'm on a profit, but I mean, it hasn't paid rent for four years.

- How much did you pay for it?

I missed it.

- 50 pounds.

- I paid 50 pounds.

- Okay.

- [Zaraah] So Evie has already made a small profit, but surely, there's more left in this one.

- 70 pounds.

(counter clicks) - Right, 80 pounds, Evie.

(counter clicks) - I think you're gonna have to push a little bit more.

- 80 pounds, and that's my last bid.

- 80 pounds, and I'm out, so you're dealing with Karen.

- How about 90?

- 80 pounds, Evie.

- (tuts) 90?

- I only wanted to pay 65.

(laughs) - Well, I think you could have it, then.

- Can I?

- Yes, I think you can.

- Thank you so much.

50 pound paid for it, 80 pound sold, that's not a bad profit, Evie.

- Yes, I was very happy.

She liked it.

She'd always wanted one.

I've had it.

Now she's got it.

- [Zaraah] Very gracious, Evie.

Next up, it's the unusual vesta case, and Mike enters the ring to fight the other two for this one.

- It's a little novelty fan vesta.

It's a good thing.

I can sell that.

- Ah, the vesta, it's a great bit.

- There may be a bit of a fight for this.

- [Zaraah] This could be interesting.

- Where did ya get that from?

- That's the family.

Came down through the family.

- Oh, it came from your family?

- Yes.

- [Mike] Is it something you'd part with if the price was right, so to speak?

- Yes.

- Good.

- Big offers.

- Wow.

- Oh, whopping, whopping.

- Whopping?

- Absolutely whopping.

- Well, more than 30 quid.

- Absolutely.

- My offer is 40 pounds.

- And my offer is bigger than his offer: 45 pound.

(David laughs) (counter clicks) - Well, I really like this, and I think there are an awful lot of vesta collectors out there that're looking for that one that's a little bit different, so my offer is 70 pounds.

- [Mike] Oh.

(counter clicks) - Ah, can I have a look?

- Oh, do.

- [Evie] Take a bit of advice?

- I think you should.

- Do.

See how generous I've been, Evie.

- [Evie] Hmm.

- [Zaraah] Not that generous, Karen.

You're still short of the top valuation again.

But will any of the other dealers enter the race?

- 80 pounds.

(counter clicks) - [Evie] Hmm.

- Well, 90 pounds, Evie.

(counter clicks) - Hmm.

- Just hang on a tick.

95, yeah.

(counter clicks) (David sighs) - How could a vesta be worth 100 pounds?

- [Mike] Well, easily.

Novelty, mate.

- 97.50 pounds.

(counter clicks) - Not fair.

- It's splitting the difference, and it's 2.50 pounds more.

- Well, I think you've been very naughty boys and you've jumped on the back of a good bid, so I'm out.

Did we jump on the back of my decent bid?

What's that about?

- That Karen sometimes spouts what I would call a bag of wind.

- I'll go 100.

(counter clicks) - Is that your final offer?

- It is my final offer, yes.

- Okay.

- Well done.

Thank you very much, me dear.

- Deal.

- Thank you.

(Evie laughs) - [Zaraah] Well played, Mike.

You must be pleased.

- Not happy at all at 100 pound.

It's probably too dear, but I'll get out of it.

- Will he be able to sell it?

Well, probably.

- [Zaraah] Who're we kidding?

He could sell snow to the Eskimos.

- Ha, heh, so what?

(laughs) - [Zaraah] Evie seems to be in her element with our dealers, and she also sold a silver-plated tantalus to Karen for 80 pounds, these silver drink labels to Mike for 50 quid, and David offered a top-valuation price for the brass submarine.

- You must really like it.

- I think it's unusual 'cause it's a submarine.

- He loves it.

I tell you what.

You can have it.

- 60 pounds, we have a deal, Evie?

- We have a deal.

- [David] Great, thank you.

(Evie laughs) - Why did I curtsy?

(Karen laughs) - [David] It's my royal demeanor.

(Evie laughs) - [Zaraah] Let's hope there's smiles at the end of our last deal.

David and Mike are going to fight it out for the statue of the land girls.

- I've never seen Second World War prisoner-of-war work, so how to value it's very difficult.

- I've never seen another one in me life, and I'll never see another one after this, so I better buy this, hadn't I?

- Tell me what you know about it.

- I bought it from an antiques fair at Barton Manor about seven years ago.

I just loved it because I just loved the craftsmanship.

- [David] I think it's an interesting thing.

- [Evie] It is, isn't it?

'Cause a lot of love has gone into it.

- Anyhow, my bid for your land girls with the onions is 105 pounds.

- Right.

- I had no idea what this was worth.

And so, I made an offer because I quite like it, but it's not as good as Mike's.

Mine offer is 55 pounds.

- I know it's a very strange thing to value.

- Just have a look.

Yeah.

- But can I have a look?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Take some advice.

- And could you show 'em us as well, please?

- I beg your pardon.

- It could be my guide, as well.

How much does it say, me dear?

- 4,000.

- Don't be silly.

- There you are, you see.

- [Zaraah] Well done, Evie.

Don't let Michael know he's already gone over the top valuation.

You just let these boys fight amongst themselves for a bit.

- You've bid 105, so I'll bid 115.

(counter clicks) - Will you look after it?

- No, I shall endeavor to sell it.

(Evie chuckles) (David laughs) - I'm hoping he would look after it if he got the chance.

- If you put the price of a meal on top, you can have it.

- Well, hang on, it's not his choice.

How much... Do you eat fish and chips?

- (laughs) No, not quite.

- Well, I'll go 120.

(counter clicks) - [David] Five pounds more.

- Correct.

- All right, I'll- - Which is not.

- No, no, no, Michael.

Michael.

- 55 pound more than my original bid.

I don't think Mr. Ford really knows what he's doing, but you know follow me leader it's called, isn't it?

- I'll tell you what, I quite like this now.

It's growing on me, and because he's being difficult and this could benefit you, I'll offer you 135 pounds.

(counter clicks) - 140.

(counter clicks) - Well, I think 140 pounds is probably a good offer, and I think it's enough to discourage me, so I'm out.

- Ah, d'you know, there's only one thing you can say to me.

Let me buy it, take it away, and earn meself a reasonable living.

- [Evie] And you're not... - No.

- No, no, no, he's gone now.

He had it.

- I've talked myself.

- Well, I think you're very silly, - Out of it.

- And I think you're very clever.

- Thank you very much.

Well done.

(Evie laughs) - [Zaraah] There, that told you, David.

- Is that the right price?

How do you know?

It's unique.

- Of the one thing I've bought today, that is the one thing I'm very happy with, because there's a lot of profit in it.

(stern music) - [Zaraah] Homeowner Evie fought for every single penny today, but just how much of the secret dealers' cash did she grab?

- What can we say?

(laughs) (Evie laughs) We have had a ball today, the three secret dealers.

You have been such fun, and it may not be the biggest sum in the world, but it's certainly been the most fun we've ever had.

635 pounds.

- Thank you so much.

- We're very pleased to give you.

- I should buy you dinner, shouldn't I?

- Yes, you should.

(David laughs) (Karen laughs) (Evie laughs) - Good idea.

- [Zaraah] Blimey, the dealers actually seem pleased to be handing over their money.

(notes rustle) The secret dealers have forked out over five grand, but did they spend wisely today?

Simon was confident with his 515-pound games compendium.

- I will definitely get a profit on it.

Job done.

- [Zaraah] He'll have to eat his words because no one's playing with it so far, and the Gothic Revival armchair, he's still sitting on it.

Not a good day at the office.

It was a day of regrets for Karen too.

She paid 80 pounds for the Victorian screen.

- I only wanted to pay 65.

(laughs) - [Zaraah] And she shoulda stuck to her guns, and it was the same old story for the Victorian wool winder.

- I wish I hadn't bought it, now.

- [Zaraah] Benefit of hindsight, eh, Karen?

David had that sinking feeling about the submarine paperweight.

- Do I have clients for trench art?

Not specifically.

- [Zaraah] But he surfaced with a moderate profit.

(David sighs) So there was only one dealer riding the waves of success today.

You've guessed it, Mr. Melody.

Although the statue of the land girls is still waiting to be sold, the biscuit display case was snapped up as quick as a flash.

He paid top whack for the vesta case.

- I'll get out of it.

- [Zaraah] And escaped with a 10-pound profit.

At 315 quid, he thought he paid way too much for the mantel clock.

- I've copped it.

- [Zaraah] But it was just as well he did.

I think homeowner Paul sums it up best.

- I think Mike could sell anything to anybody.

- Heh heh heh heh, heh heh, heh heh, ha ha ha ha, ha ha.

(audacious music) (audacious music continues) (no audio)